Eyes Wide Shut
by Merlin71
Summary: A little something dealing with the aftermath of the Wraith bug in 38 minutes. Yeppers. Sheppard gets whumped again.


_A little something dealing with the after math of the Wraith bug in 38 minutes. Yeppers. Sheppard gets whumped again._

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

John woke up with a cry on his lips which he swallowed down before it could escape. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, wincing a bit as he shifted against the pillows and the wound on his neck made itself known. Carefully he pressed one hand to the healing flesh, feeling the ridges of the puncture wounds. He couldn't help but shudder at the memory of how close he had come to dying from a damn bug.

Shoving back the covers, John got up and headed for the bathroom. He took a shower, and the hot water helped to ease the tension in his body. It had only been a week since that thing had latched onto him and he still didn't feel up to par. That he didn't sleep well was part of the problem and he knew it. Not that he would admit to feeling less than one hundred percent. To anyone. But especially not to Beckett who made him come down for a check up daily. John sighed and turned the water to cold. He was tired and needed to wake up. One minute under the cold spray was invigorating enough so he stepped out, dried off and got dressed. No sense in full uniform since he wasn't cleared for gate travel yet. So John yanked on a tee shirt, with his pants, stuffed his feet into his boots and strapped on his thigh holster. He might not be going off Atlantis, but he didn't go anywhere without at least one weapon. No telling what might happen at any given time on Atlantis.

Heading out of his room, John made a beeline for Weir's office. He wanted to see if he could talk her into letting him go offworld today. Maybe he could charm her into it, even though John knew she was on to him and had been since the beginning. All he wanted to be able to do was go to the mainland and do a bit of exploring. Teyla's people were still branching out and Weir was letting small teams from Atlantis go down and help. John figured he couldn't get into any real trouble doing that.

So as he stepped into a transporter he was smiling. But it faded when he felt a sudden wave of dizziness wash over him. His knees buckled and he had to press a hand against the wall to brace himself. It faded fast but in it's wake came a familiar throbbing stab of pain in his temples. John sighed as he massaged them. The headaches had started three days ago and were getting worse. Just one more thing to try and hide from Beckett, which meant he couldn't even ask for some aspirin.

The transporter stopped and the doors slid open. John pushed away from the wall and stepped out. He headed for the gate room and Weir's office. Once there he was glad to find her alone. He didn't even have to knock on the door. It was open and she looked up from her laptop as he approached. "Got a minute?" John asked.

"Sure." Elizabeth smiled and gestured for him to enter. Then her eyes studied him. "How do you feel?"

"Good." John knew it was best to give a simple answer, whether it was the truth or a lie. He plastered a smile on his face and resisted the urge to rub his temples as he sat down across from her. "So...I was wondering if I could head out to the mainland and join in the explorations?"

Elizabeth pursed her lips as she leaned back in her chair. She held his gaze for a moment then shook her head. "I don't think so."

John did not want to hear that. "Why not?" he challenged.

"First off...you're not cleared for even light duty," Elizabeth ticked off on one finger.

"That's just a technicality. Beckett is being over cautious. I'm fine. I'm bored!" John got up and started pacing as he spoke. It didn't help the throbbing in his head but he felt restless and needed to be in motion.

Elizabeth watched him for a moment then said, quietly," We almost lost you. Give yourself time to heal."

John twitched at her words. It was still hard for him to accept that he had died. Gave him the creeps when he did let himself think about it. "Look...I'm fine now, okay? I've been resting for a week. I need to do something. Anything."

"You need to check in with Beckett. If he clears you I'll consider giving you something to do. Okay?" Elizabeth's tone was soft but firm. She shifted forward in her chair and folded her arms over her chest.

"Something as in Off world to do, or something as in paperwork?" John was beginning to read Elizabeth like a book. She would only give so much. Always an inch, never a mile. And she was able to read him a bit too well for John's liking as well.

Elizabeth shrugged. "We'll negotiate the terms later. _If _you're cleared."

John knew enough to back off. He nodded, carefully, then headed for the door. "Be back soon," he called over his shoulder. For he fully intended to get that clearance. Even if he had to beg or bully or charm Beckett into giving it to him. So John headed for the infirmary, but halfway there his knees buckled again and he caught himself with a hand against the wall. He hung his head, waiting for the dizziness to pass. There was a buzzing sound in his ears, like a thousand voices all whispering at the same time. The sound got louder, making the pounding in his temples increase until he heard himself whimper from the pain. Then it stopped. As suddenly as it had come it was gone and John slid down the wall to sit with his back against the wall. He still had the dull thud of the headache and he felt nauseous and weak. When he lifted a hand to rub his face it came away wet and he realized his skin was slicked in a cold sweat and he was shivering. "Great..." John groused. He knew if he got caught like this, Beckett would find out and he'd never get cleared. So he pushed himself onto his feet, one hand still pressed against the wall until he was able to lock his knees.

The infirmary was not an option at the moment, so John headed for his room. Once there he let himself sink down onto the bed, closing his eyes as the soothing darkness enveloped him. A heartbeat later he was asleep.

McKay was in his lab when the lights flickered. "What was that?"

Zelenka was working at a nearby table. "What's what?" He pushed his glasses back on his nose as he asked.

"The lights flickered. Didn't you see it?" McKay got up then pointed a finger when they did it again. "There...see?" He tapped his ear com. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes, Rodney." Her voice crackled over the radio.

He watched the lights flicker yet again. "Are you having technical difficulties where you are?"

A moment of silence then, "If you mean are the lights flickering then yes."

"That's what I mean. Anything else?"

"No...yes!" Elizabeth's voice was muffled as she spoke to someone else. Then she was back. "We've got a problem, Rodney. You'd better get up here."

Rodney did not like the sound of that. "What's wrong."

Zelenka answered. "We just went off line." He stabbed at a few keys on the laptop in front of him.

"This is not good." Rodney realized he was wringing his hands and made himself stop. "I'll be right there, Elizabeth," he stated. Then he tapped off and ran out of the room, with Zelenka on his heels.

The whispering woke him. John cursed, turned on his side then grabbed the pillow and clamped it over his ear. But the whispering was inside his head so that didn't help. Cursing again, he sat up, punched the pillow into shape and laid back down. He felt tired and restless. His head still ached and he would have killed for a couple of Tylenol about now. But he knew he couldn't get them without checking in with Beckett. And he wasn't about to admit to a headache.

John kicked off the covers and rolled onto his stomach. He was hot and sticky. He felt the humidity slicking his skin even though he had shucked down to his boxers at one point. When he had first dozed off he had been fully dressed with his gun still strapped to his thigh. After rolling onto it, John had gotten up and stripped down before crawling back under the covers. Then he had been cold.

It occurred to John that it wasn't his body temp but the room temp that was affecting him now. Since the bug bite he had suffered a fever for the first couple of days so he had just figured he was feeling the after effects. But now he realized the air in his room was stifling hot. John rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He would shower then head out to talk to Rodney about temperature control. They hadn't figured out how individual areas worked yet, although Rodney figured it was probably gene related somehow.

The cool water felt good on his skin and John washed up quickly, wishing he didn't have to get out and face the heat. It was draining. But the sooner he talked to Rodney the better. So John got out, dried off and headed into his room to get dressed. But he stopped short when he realized the air was cooler. Much cooler. Cool enough that he shivered a bit as it hit his damp skin. "What the hell..." John got dressed quickly and headed out of the room.

He made his way to Rodney's lab and the scientist looked frazzled. "You okay?" John asked him.

"No." Rodney looked up from his lap top and glared at Sheppard. "I can't figure out what's going on."

"You mean with the heat?"

Rodney blinked at him. "What heat?"

John made a face at him, only to realize it was probably only his room that had been affected. For whatever reason. "Uh...nevermind. What can't you figure out?"

"Why the lights went off and the power to the gate." Rodney gave Sheppard a look that clearly stated he thought the major was an idiot.

"When did that happen?" John was stunned.

Rodney huffed a sigh, as he glanced at his watch. "It started about two hours ago. Weird thing being it fixed itself. I just can't figure out why it happened and it's driving me crazy."

John nodded. "I bet it is."

"Did you want something or did you just come in here to irritate me?" Rodney seemed to realize the major might actually have a reason for being there.

"Maybe both, but I'll be back to discuss it," John replied, then he was out the door. He needed to talk to Weir.

He found her in her office, head bent over some reports. John knocked. When she looked up and waved to him, he entered. "Rodney just told me the lights went out and there was a problem with the gate power. Why didn't you call me?"

Elizabeth locked eyes with Sheppard. "You were sleeping and Beckett said you needed the rest."

"Beckett?" John was confused, and he let it show as he dropped down into the closest chair.

"I asked him to check in on you when he called to say you hadn't shown up for you check up." Elizabeth folded her hands on the table top. "Are you feeling okay?"

John scowled at her. "I told you, I'm fine. But you should have called me."

Elizabeth smiled serenely. "Had it become a security issue...I would have. Believe me. But everything seems to be to normal, for the present." The smile faded as she studied him. "You look tired."

"Guess I'm still worn out." It hurt to admit it.

"Go see Beckett." Elizabeth's tone was soft but it was an obvious order, not a request.

John pushed out of the chair. "Okay." He knew better than to argue with her. And since it was unlikely he would be cleared at this point, he might as well ask for some aspirin. Maybe if he could get rid of the headache he could sleep better. Maybe he wouldn't dream. John shuddered a bit as he stepped into the transporter. Every time he closed his eyes, at some point he dreamed about the Wraith bug sucking the life out of him. He dreamed about Ford hitting him with the defibrillator. Only in his dream he never woke up. "God...stop it," John chided himself, as the pressed the area on the panel to take him to the infirmary. The doors closed and John waited. And waited. After a moment he frowned. It took only seconds to get from place to place in the transporters. He should have arrived by now.

Turning, he looked at the panel and he was on the right level. But the doors were still closed. John pressed his hand to the square next to the doors. They usually opened on their own but he knew they could be opened manually as well. Only they weren't opening. "What the hell?" John tried again, and again. Nothing. He wasn't claustrophobic in the least, but he suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in on him. And then he heard it, the whispers in his head and John pressed his hands over his ears, silently screaming at the voices to _shut up_!

But the whispers didn't fade away and John was getting angry. Without thinking he kicked the door and was grateful he had his boots on. He then slammed one fist against the panel and nothing happened. Not that he had expected it too. Then he did something he seldom would. He closed his eyes and willed the door to open. John didn't like doing that as a rule, but he wanted out. Not that he expected this to work either but, to his surprise, he heard a whooshing sound. When he opened his eyes it was to see that the doors were open. "One more thing to tell Rodney about," John muttered to himself as he stepped out. He continued on to the infirmary and as he entered he realized the whispers were gone. But his headache was not. John rubbed his temples, wincing a bit, not looking where he was going. Until he collided with a solid form. "Sorry." The apology was automatic, even as John staggered backwards.

Carson gripped the major's arms to steady him. "No harm done," he stated. "How are you feeling, major?"

"I've been better." John could see the way Beckett was looking him over, the blue eyes missing nothing. So there was no point in lying about it. "Got anything for a headache?"

"Maybe." Carson retained his hold on one of Sheppard's arms and pulled him over to an exam table. "Hop up and let me take a look at you."

John winced but did as he was told. He hated the whole exam thing. Lights shining in his eyes, fingers poking and prodding, cold metal on his skin checking his heart beat. Which Beckett insisted on doing regularly, ever since they had stopped his heart. John couldn't wait for the man to finally stop fussing over him. But for now he accepted his fate and leaned back against the pillows, crossing his arms and his legs as he waited.

Carson grabbed a penlight and moved the major's side. "So how long have you had the headache?"

"A few hours." John wasn't about to confess to how many days he'd suffered with it.

"Sharp or dull pain?" This asked as he shone the light in Sheppard's eyes.

John resisted the urge to close them. "Dull throbbing...mostly." The damn light was starting to affect him though, turning the dull pain into sharp stabs.

Making faces, Carson turned the light off. "Nothing out of the ordinary," he stated.

"That's good. So...aspirin?" John's tone was hopeful. He wanted to pop the pills then leave. The lights felt too bright in here and John wanted to head back to his room and sleep off the headache where it was cool and dark.

"I'll give you a shot instead," Carson countered. "You look like you could use a good night's sleep, major." He turned to the side table but froze when the lights flickered. "Ach...not again."

John slid off the table and stared at the lights. They flickered again then dimmed.

Just then Weir's voice sounded over the intercom system. "Major Sheppard, report to the conference room."

"Tell her I'm on my way," John said to Beckett, as he headed to the door.

"I'll tell her you're resting," Carson countered, moving to block the major. "You need to rest, laddie."

John glared at him. "I'll be fine. Something is up, doc. I need to be in on this. I'll be back for a raincheck." That said, John was out the door and running for the nearest transporter.

John watched Rodney pace as he explained what was happening, with Zelenka interjecting comments of his own. "So what's the bottom line?" he asked, once Rodney appeared to run out of steam.

With a glare at Sheppard, Rodney explained. "Bottom line is...we don't know what's causing the malfunctions. And as of this moment, all gate travel is impossible. The gate is locked down and we can't figure out why."

"It has to be either a code or a terminal issue, isn't it?" Elizabeth queried.

"It should be, but we can't find anything wrong with the terminals," Zelenka replied.

Rodney sighed. "We can't find anything wrong, period. It doesn't make sense."

John could tell he was frazzled and that worried him. "Are we in any danger?"

"Not that I can tell, at least not for the moment," Rodney replied.

"The biggest problem is that we have three teams off world," Elizabeth interjected. "We can't get them back."

John was not happy to hear that. And he felt helpless, which he hated all the more. On top of that his head was pounding and John was feeling frustrated and antsy. To the point where he was ready to punch the nearest wall. But he made himself control that anger and his tone was calm as he asked, "So what can we do?"

Rodney dropped into a nearby chair and rubbed his face with one hand. "I have no idea. We can run more tests, which we're doing as I speak, but I don't know what to look for. How can we fix something that doesn't seem to be broken?"

"Just keep trying," Elizabeth told him. Then she looked at the others grouped around the table and nodded. "That's it. Let's get back to work, people." She watched them straggle out of the room, but turned her attention to the major when he stood up to follow. "Can you wait a minute, John?"

"Sure." He settled back into the chair and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. The pain was starting to shift. He watched Elizabeth move closer, leaning one hip against the side of the table in front of him. "What's up? Besides the obvious."

Elizabeth studied him for a long moment. "I'm worried about you," she said finally.

John was surprised to hear that. "Why? I told you, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, major. You're pale and I can see that you're in pain." Elizabeth's eyes mirrored her concern.

"It's a headache, and Beckett knows about it." John could hear how defensive he sounded and he didn't care. "Look...I'm know I'm not up to par yet. But I'm okay. I'll get some sleep and I'll be fine."

Elizabeth nodded. "You do that. As in right now." She waved a hand to still a protest. "There is nothing you can do to fix what's wrong, John. So rest up for when we do need you. Okay?"

He wanted to argue with her but realized it was senseless. She was right. He couldn't do anything to help with the gate issue, so he might as well rest up. There was no telling when all hell might break loose again and he would be needed. "Will do," John said softly, as he pushed out of the chair. He gave her a small smile then headed out the door.

Once again John made his way to the nearest transporter. He hesitated a moment, before touching the panel for his desired location. But he cursed himself for a fool and tapped the spot. The door closed and John tensed, but they opened a moment later and he was relieved to see he was on the right level. Stepping out he headed for the infirmary, but staggered against the wall when a wave of dizziness hit him. He locked his knees but swayed hard and felt himself sliding to the floor. And as darkness closed over him, John thought he heard a voice calling to him. Whispering soft as a lullaby.

He felt warm, safe and at peace. He felt as if he were wrapped in darkness that wasn't the least bit scary. It was comforting and quiet, accept for one quiet voice. The whispers had been loud and grating but this voice was soft and soothing.

"Major."

John winced at this other voice, outside of his head. It was cold and sharp and he tried to turn away from it.

"I need you to open your eyes now, major."

"No.." John felt something touch his face and brushed it away. But his eyes snapped open when something gripped his wrist and pinned him. He blinked hard and Beckett's concerned face came into focus. John realized the doctor was holding his arm. Which meant he was in the infirmary. John looked around him and sighed. "What happened?"

Carson made a face, releasing the Major's wrist and stepping back. "I was hoping you could tell me. Sgt. Bates found you collapsed in the corridor."

John vaguely remembered getting dizzy after leaving Weir's office. He rubbed a hand over his face, stopping when he saw the IV taped to the back. "Uh...how long have I been here?"

"Almost a day." Carson dragged the stool over and sat down. "I couldn't get you to wake up. You had a bit of a temp and you were very restless. At one point I think you were dreaming about the Wraith bug again. You were scratching at your throat and begging me to get it off."

"Oh." John was not happy to hear that. He hadn't meant for anyone to know about those dreams.

Carson was watching him closely. "I had to sedate you to stop you from hurting yourself, major."

John winced at that and shifted up against the pillows, sitting up more. "Sorry. So...how long am I stuck here?"

"Another day or two."

"Can't I rest in my room?" John was ready to beg if he had too.

Carson scratched his ear, not replying right away. He seemed to be considering then he sighed. "Maybe you can go back to your room tonight. If you do as you're told."

John had a feeling he wasn't going to like what Carson was going to say, but he nodded. "Whatever you tell me. Promise."

"Like I believe that." Carson snorted and shook his head. "But I'll give you a chance to prove it. First you need to eat a good meal, then you need to rest some more. If your temp stays down then I'll send you to your room. But I'm going to put a guard on your door."

"What...you don't trust me?" John was smiling as he spoke, letting Beckett know he was teasing. John was fully aware of the fact that he was a difficult patient. He didn't mean to be, he just hated feeling like an invalid.

Carson stood up then reached out to press a hand to the major's forehead. "So far so good, but be good while I send out for a tray of food."

John nodded. "I'm not going anywhere." He watched Beckett turn to leave but called out," Have they fixed the gate?"

"Not yet."

"So we can't get the teams back yet?"

Carson turned back and shook his head. "No."

John cursed and felt restless. His men were out there and he couldn't help them. He couldn't bring them home to Atlantis where they would be safe. "Any radio contact?"

"Nothing in or out." Carson looked as worried as John felt.

"Can I have visitors?" John wanted to talk to Weir and Rodney.

Carson glared at him. "Absolutely not. Everything that can be done is being done, major. You're to concentrate solely on resting and healing. Do you understand me?"

John got the message loud and clear. He made a face then saluted. "Yes sir." He watched Beckett shake a finger at him before turning and stalking out. The moment John was certain the doctor was gone, John yanked out the IV. He slid out of bed and had to steady himself when his knees buckled for a moment. He didn't feel dizzy so much as just a bit weak, which was something he could deal with. And, his headache was gone. Mostly, anyway. There was a bit of an ache in his temples but he could ignore it. So John searched for his clothes but he couldn't find them. Which meant he would have to sneak out wearing the scrubs. Luckily he was still wearing socks so he could move silently.

Amazingly the infirmary appeared to be deserted and John glided out an into the transporter. A few minutes later he was in his room and changing into regular clothing. He knew Beckett was going to have a fit but he would deal with it later. John was worried about the teams locked out of Atlantis. Once dressed he headed out the door for Rodney's lab.

"I give up!"

That was what John heard as he entered the room. He watched Rodney hurl something across the room. It hit the wall with a dull thud. "That won't help," he said quietly, as he moved to face the scientist.

Rodney glared at him. "Who asked you?"

"What can I do to help?" John wasn't about to get into an argument with McKay. They could gripe at each other later.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the infirmary?" Rodney countered.

John winced. "I won't tell if you won't."

Rodney made a visible effort to chill out. "Look...there's nothing you can do, major. Nothing anyone can do. So why don't you go back to the infirmary before you pass out or something. I don't need to be stepping over you."

"Thanks for your concern," John drawled, even as he moved to block McKay's way when he tried to step around him. "There has to be something we can do!"

"Don't you think I've tried everything?" Rodney was shouting now. "What part of there is nothing anyone can do did you not understand, major?"

John glared back at Rodney, angry at him for giving up as much as for shouting. John's heading was coming back full force. "What I understand is that you're giving up!" He own tone was sharp but not as loud. But he wanted to get his point across. "Our people are out there, Rodney. We have to find a way to get them back!"

Rodney cursed. "No kidding! I know that! And if there was something I could do...I would do it! But nothing works. Nothing!"

"What seems to be wrong?" John was not about to let this go.

"That's just it. Nothing is wrong!" Rodney cursed again and started pacing. "We can't find a single reason for the gate to be locked down. Now do you get it?" As he spoke, Rodney headed for the door.

John wasn't about to let him go. "Get back here, McKay!"

Rodney kept walking. "Make me!"

Even before John fully formed the thought, the doors whooshed closed and McKay slammed into them.

"Ow...ow ow! My nose!" Rodney cried out as he pinched his throbbing appendage. He turned to glare at Sheppard. "Open the damn door!"

"No." John heard how shaky that one word was.

Rodney looked stunned. "No? What do you mean...no?"

John moved to the door and touched it then he turned to look at Rodney. "I didn't close it. I was going to try and close it...but I didn't get a chance to."

"What do you mean you didn't close it?" Rodney forgot about his nose as he stared at Sheppard in disbelief. "Of course you closed it. No one else in Atlantis can make things happen by just thinking them. Or did you forget that?"

"I didn't forget." John backed up so that he could sit down on a nearby stool. His legs felt shaky.

McKay seemed to notice something was wrong. "You okay, major? You don't look so good. Maybe I should call Beckett!" He turned to find his radio.

John reached out to stop him. "No...Don't. Rodney..." He was starting to realize what was happening and it scared the hell out of him if he was right. But maybe it was just a coincidence.

"What is it?" Rodney eyed him with concern.

"I think...it's me." John spoke cautiously, unsure about what he was saying. His head ached but he suddenly heard that soft voice. The soothing one and it made John shiver.

Rodney frowned. "What's you?"

John rubbed at his forehead. "I think...maybe I'm the one who closed the gate."

"What are you talking about? You can't do that. I mean, not without messing with the codes and stuff. And you don't even know how they work. Do you?"

"No...but I'm betting Atlantis does." John laughed as he spoke. What he was thinking...suggesting...it was insane.

Rodney gave the major a look that suggested he had grown a third eye. "I think I should call Beckett."

John got up and grabbed his arm to stop him. Then he whispered softly, "I wish the lights were dim." And even as he spoke the lights flickered then dimmed.

"How...how did you...?" Rodney could not complete his sentence. He simply gaped at Sheppard.

"You can leave now." John thought about the door, not even thinking it open, and it whooshed open anyway. He shivered and the voice in his head sounded like it was singing.

Rodney went pale. "What the hell is going on here?"

John wished he had an answer for him. "I don't know, but I think I did this. I don't know how." The enormity of what he was saying hit John like a slap in the face. How was it even possible?

"We need to test it further. Big test." Rodney was babbling and wringing his hands, but his eyes were aglow with anticipation. "Okay...okay...concentrate on unlocking the gate controls."

"Right." John realized this was important. If he was doing this somehow, he had to fix it. He had to get their teams back. So he closed his eyes and willed the power back to the gates.

Rodney was impatient. "Well?"

John opened his eyes. "I don't know." He didn't feel like anything had changed. Other than the voice in his head growing silent.

Then Rodney's radio crackled and he grabbed for it as Weir's voice came through.

"Rodney...the power is back up to the gate," Elizabeth stated.

"Yes!" Rodney punched the air with one fist. He turned to Sheppard. "You did it. But...how? How did you do it?"

John shook his head. "I don't know." The voice was back in his head but not so soft now and he pressed his fingers to his temples, willing it to go away.

Rodney frowned at him and opened his mouth to speak, but Weir interrupted.

"Rodney...are you there? Did you hear me?"

"I heard you and I'll be there soon," Rodney replied.

John heard the exchange as if from far away. Everything was swirling around him suddenly and he felt himself falling.

Rodney saw the major topple over and managed to catch him before he hit the floor. "Shit."

"Rodney...what's wrong?" Weir demanded.

"I need Beckett," Rodney replied. "The major just collapsed."

"On it," Weir responded.

Rodney stared down at the major's pale face. "Don't you die on me, Major. You have to explain what you did. You hear me?" But Rodney didn't get a response because the major was eerily still.

John came awake to voices and not the one in his head, thankfully. He didn't open his eyes, didn't have to know where he was. The infirmary. He took a moment to gather his thoughts, scattered as they were, before having to face a million questions. One thing he noticed first off, his headache was gone. Completely. Sighing softly, John opened his eyes.

Elizabeth noticed he was awake first and moved to his side. "How do you feel?"

"Better." John went with the truth. "The teams?"

"Home and safe," she stated. "Thanks to you."

John shook his head. "It's my fault they got stuck out there."

Rodney moved to his other side. "How did you do it, anyway? I mean/..I know you can control things but you tapped into the city itself."

"I don't know." John looked at Rodney then at Weir and saw disbelief on their faces. "I really don't know how it happened?"

"I might have some idea," Carson interjected, as he joined the group by Sheppard's bed. "I think you were sending subconscious messages to the city."

John considered what Beckett was saying and nodded. "Makes sense. It's kinda how I made things pop up on the jumper."

Rodney didn't look convinced. "But why would you want to lock down the gate? You love exploring new worlds."

"Yeah...but Atlantis is safe. That's what I was thinking." It all came to John now, very clearly. The city had tapped into his dreams and his fears.

"I don't understand, John," Elizabeth prompted.

He locked eyes with her. "After that bug thing...I was so glad to be home and alive. I felt safe here in Atlantis. So I guess maybe, subconsciously, I didn't want to leave and I didn't want to risk anything or anyone coming in to change that."

Carson nodded. "Makes perfect sense."

"But can you still control things?" Rodney queried.

"I don't know." John wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Elizabeth patted his arm. "Why don't you try something."

John nodded. "Okay." He thought for a minute then watched as the lights flickered on and off. "Guess i can still control it," he said with a grin.

"That's impressive," Carson stated.

"Might prove to be useful," Rodney replied, then he went off into a drawn out tangent of how this new gift of Sheppard's could be applicable in a myriad of situations.

Weir smiled at John as they tuned Rodney out. "Maybe you could work on a way to turn Rodney on and off?" she suggested.

John chuckled. "I'll work on it."

"So how do you feel, really?" Weir's tone and eyes conveyed her concern for him.

"I'm good." John smiled warmly. "Really." He meant it. He felt safe and content and he hoped maybe the nightmares would finally fade away. "No more headaches and no more voices."

"Voices? What voices?" Rodney broke off from his ramblings to ask.

John made a face then closed his eyes. "I'm a little tired," he said pointedly.

Carson shooed the others away. "Let the major rest now. You can come back and bother him some more later."

John listened to the footsteps fading away then let himself drift off to sleep. And for once he didn't dream.

But he did hear Atlantis softly singing.

THE END


End file.
